


As Stupid as He

by Raindropblue



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Awesome Sheriff Stilinski, Derek Hale is a Failwolf, Derek Hale is a Softie, Failwolf Friday, M/M, Oblivious Stiles Stilinski, Pack is disappointed and embarrassed, Pining Derek Hale, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25063165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raindropblue/pseuds/Raindropblue
Summary: Derek had a crush, scratch that, Derek was in love. Derek was in love and it was growing increasingly difficult to deal with it. So Derek decided to tell the object of his affection - a certain whiskey eyed, wicked mouthed human - that he loved him in a cool manner. He was gonna keep it low key as the pups these days said. Unfortunately for all involved, Derek was not low key.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Kudos: 9





	As Stupid as He

Derek had grown as a person in the past few years. He no longer bit insecure teenagers, or lived in the burnt husk of his family home, he even committed considerably less amounts of murder. Now Derek Hale devoted his time to keeping the teenagers - he had bitten when he was a lesser person - in line and well fed. He also had bought a home in town large enough to hold all members of his pack, and usually did some research on the town's nuisance to find a way to peacefully direct them away from their more violent tendencies. 

This growth was a gradual thing, there were still a few terrible habits that Derek had to leave behind. Like lurking around teenagers, appearing in their rooms, bleeding out in their jeeps or shoving them against walls. Well really only one teenager. The pups lived with him so he wouldn't call it lurking, and the rest of the pack members came around often enough to sate his and their need to be around him. There was one teenager though that he felt didn't come around as much as he'd like. Now Derek wasn't exactly in tune with his emotions yet, he'd gotten better but sometimes he still confused affection or sadness with anger so there was definitely room for improvement, but even he could tell the way he felt for a certain doe eyed, sarcastic, mole dotted human was past pack member and borderline mate territory. 

Derek had taken some time to come to terms with this revelation, months in fact. Months during which he had been increasingly gruff and aggressive towards that perhaps a mate individual. Something he greatly regretted now that he found it was absolutely undeniable that he, Derek Hale had feelings, very strong, mate/love like feelings for one Stiles Stilinski. Which brought him to the conclusion that he now had to not only convey these feelings to the human but also somehow win his affection too. It wouldn't be a particularly easy task when for these past few months he had been drifting between forlorn stares and angry wall shoving when caught mid forlorn staring. 

"What are you writing?" A smooth masculine voice asked from over Derek's shoulder. Derek quickly hid the notepad he had currently been working on against his body, swiftly turning around to direct one of his more menacing glares at Isaac. 

"Nothing. Go study." Derek growled. 

"Small key ways to court whiskey eyes? Derek do you by chance mean low key?" 

Isaac looked honestly horrified. Wide blue eyes staring at him as Derek felt his face burn in shame, ears getting so hot that he was sure had he been a cartoon they would be steaming. 

"You read it wrong." Derek growled, trying to keep a strong front even if he felt like contacting the nearest witch so she could drain him of his undeserved alpha powers. 

"I can still see it so no I didn't." 

In his haste to hide it he had accidentally crushed the notebook in his hand making half of it bend outwards so that just the title and first few lines could be read as he clutched it to his chest. 

"God this is why some people think I'm your son." Isaac muttered, looking not even slightly afraid while under the full effect glare of his Alpha. It was Derek's fault for being so soft with them, now they weren't even remotely intimidated by him, not even when he desperately needed them to be. It was kind of nice to be called softwolf as opposed to sourwolf by Stiles so perhaps he could deal with the lack of fear.

"So you're going for it? You're finally gonna bang batman?" Erica asked, making Derek take back being able to deal with their lack of fear for him. None of them could have ever asked his mother when she was Alpha such rude questions, except Peter perhaps, but he had always been more on the mental side of the sanity scale. His lack of sanity had always caused him to be much more brazen than others, only around people he was almost positive wouldn't kill him though. Say what you wanted about Peter Hale, but his self preservation skills were above anyone else's in the pack. 

"It's called courting, not banging and it's none of either of your concerns. If I get one more call from either of your teachers about you flunking a test you'll be sitting out on pack runs and studying during movie nights." 

"There, that's the real reason people think you're my dad." Isaac said, and Erica nodded with wide eyes as though she hadn't ever heard a statement more sound than the nonsense Isaac had just said. Derek's eye twitched and he had to resist the urge to send them both to their rooms knowing that would only get them to continue on talking about why people thought Isaac was his son, probably while sitting right next to him too. 

"It is our concern because we have to deal with you acting weird around Stiles. You could at least forewarn us about in which way you plan to act weird so we can be prepared." Erica said. She was probably the most brazen of all three of the pups as Stiles had dubbed them, and the first to have realized Derek actually would never make good on all the threats he used to make when he first turned them. After that it had all very quickly gone downhill. 

"Personally I preferred you rolling your eyes at everything he said, it was the least drastic of all your stages." 

Derek as an Alpha was not proud that Boyd had managed to sneak up on him, neither was he proud of the little jump he did when Boyd snuck up on him. For such a large person he was somehow very quiet. He moved around like a cat. Stiles often threatened to get him a bell. Last Christmas he had even jokingly gotten Boyd a bell as part of his gift. Derek couldn't help but smile at the thought. 

"Gross." All three of his betas murmured together making him snap out of his very short trance. 

"He's going to be so weird around him I can just tell. We'll be lucky if Stiles doesn't just stop coming to the loft altogether." Erica said. 

"We can't lose Stiles' backrubs or freshly popped popcorn, let us see that list." Isaac said and Derek wondered briefly why he had ever considered Isaac his favorite.

"Without his research or quick thinking we'd all die." Boyd said, right before they all formed a creepy circle around him, arms folded, stares directed right at his notebook. This was why Peter had once said the trio was a little unsettling, for the first time Derek could see it too. At the time he had thrown the pencil he was holding at Peter's head, but now he agreed. 

Derek clutched his notebook to his chest, trying to hide it away from their gazes using his hands. He didn't want them to see the things he had written down. While he was writing they had all seemed like solid ideas but now the thought of the pups seeing them made him want to dig a hole in the ground and lie in it until someone paved it over. 

"It's private." Derek grumbled, just starting to consider flashing his eyes before he had a pup hanging off each arm while the third, and most devious in his opinion, grabbed the notebook. Now as a born wolf and an Alpha he should have expected this. Even been able to throw the pups off but that would entail hurting them and they took so much longer than him to heal he couldn't bring himself to do it even though the idea of them reading what he had written made him want to die. 

"Oh my god I see the words dead deer." Erica said and suddenly his arms were free as the other two scrambled to get a look too. Isaac looked horrified, Erica and Boyd had some amusement mixed in with their horror. 

"It's traditional." Derek grumbled, deciding it was too late to snatch it away. It was his fault anyway for having left written proof for these hounds to find. Stiles would have found that hilarious, he'd have to find a way to say it in front of him. Preferably not in front of Peter though, as a fellow born wolf they considered dog jokes to be the lowest of all lows and for Derek to stoop down to that level in front of Peter would be too embarrassing to ever come back from. 

"What the hell is small key?" Boyd asked. 

"He meant-" Isaac started but Derek snatched the notebook away from them interrupting him. There was only so much he could handle in one day. 

"It's a wolf thing." Derek said, glaring at Isaac daring him to disagree. Isaac dropped back a little, visibly conceding. Boyd looked very skeptical but didn't connect the dots as quick as Isaac had luckily. 

"Derek you can't do any of these." Erica stated. Derek couldn't help but protectively cradle his notebook to his chest, some of them were actually very good ideas. 

"Some of these sound more like you're trying to run him off the land. Like why would you leave a dead deer on his porch or steal his laundry?" Isaac asked, nose wrinkled in a mixture of distaste and confusion. 

"Deer shows I can provide, it shows I'm a good choice of mate. And their laundry machine broke down, I'd just take it to wash it here, and give it back freshly laundered and pressed." Derek wasn't entirely sure why he was telling them any of this, but really he didn't have much experience in romantic matters. Over fifty percent of his significant others had turned out to be homicidal so it couldn't hurt to bounce a few ideas off of pack members. 

"No." Erica said shaking her head. 

"He'd probably take the deer as a threat. Don't you remember his friends down at Jungle call him bambi?" Boyd asked. Derek admittedly hadn't thought of that, no matter he wasn't too dead set on deer, it could be another animal. Perhaps something that would show how adept a hunter he was. Physical strength would always be an attractive trait. 

"How about you just start by being a little nicer to him? Don't push him into walls or glare at him so much." Erica advised. 

"I'm pretty sure those are loving stares, his eyebrows are just too intense so it looks like he wants to murder him." Isaac said making Derek glare at him. 

"Whatever they are they look scary, so find a way to look a little less I'm going to beat your ass and a little more I'd like to tap your ass." Erica said, getting a faint look of amusement from Boyd for her efforts. 

"You already spend a lot of time with him, just try to talk to him, and food never hurts. Stiles usually forgets to eat while doing pack stuff so bring him food." 

Derek could do those things. He could be nice to Stiles, he loved talking to Stiles and he did always worry about whether Stiles was eating, so all of this was very doable. Perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing that his betas had seen the list. 

"Just maybe run it by us first before you decide to do any grand gestures. And basically all of that list is horrifying so just burn it." Isaac said. Derek was not going to burn his list or ask the pups every step of the way during the courting process, but they didn't have to know that. 

"Don't worry, I'll be as you kids say it, low key about this. Stiles won't even know he's being wooed."

"That's exactly what we're afraid of." Erica muttered to Isaac.


End file.
